Jareth and Roy get Wasted
by Royazali
Summary: A little one-shot I thought was funny. What happens when Jareth gets Roy drunk? OMG!


**Hello! Srry for not updating my main fic but I thought a little one-shot would be nice! Even tho I haven't finished it, this is set After Jareth 2.**

**Enjoy!**

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Just another day in the lives of Jareth and Roy…

"Hey, Jareth… What are we going to do about these?" asked Roy as he pointed at a wanted poster for the two of them.

Jareth shrugged, bored. "Nothing. My poster's been up for years and no one's cashed me in… C'mon, lets go…"

He turned to leave but Roy kept looking at the poster, a look of surprise on his face.

"What? What is it?" asked Jareth as he tried to see the poster.

"N-Nothing! Don't look! Jareth, don't-" He tried to prevent him from seeing the poster but failed.

Upon seeing it, Jareth's jaw dropped and he looked at Roy angrily. "What the hell is this?-!" he growled, pointing at it.

"Uh… eh heh… a wanted poster?"

"No shit Sherlock! I meant _that_!" he was pointing at the prices on their heads.

"Oh that! That's uh… um…"

"How come you're higher than me?-!"

**_(A/N) See chap 8 in Jareth 2..._**

"Beats me…" he avoided eye contact, "Why're you so mad?"

He folded his arms peeved, "I have a reputation to keep, y'know! I cant be beaten by some kid!"

"Well, _excuse me_ for ruining your reputation!" replied Roy. "Besides, its not _that_ more than yours…"

"15 grand to 5?-!"

"Yeah well… It'll go down soon!" he smiled trying to mend the situation.

"Yeah, whatever…" he said moodily.

He sighed and followed Jareth into the harbor. As he looked out to sea, a thought hit him.

"Hey, Jareth?"

"What?" he asked annoyed.

"I was thinking-"

"Didn't I tell you to stop that?"

"Yeah but… I just realized… I don't really know anything about you."

He paused. The truth was he had never known anyone long enough to tell anything to. Besides Wilshin… "Yeah, what about it?"

He shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe we could sit down somewhere and just talk…"

Jareth stared at him in disbelief.

"W-What?"

"Talk? You want to just sit down and…talk?"

"Well…yeah. What's wrong?"

He put his hand to his head and sighed. "Men do not 'talk'." He smiled, "They drink!"

Roy blinked. "Drink? Ok! We'll get some coke or something and-"

"Coke?" he laughed. "Oh no… Im gunna get you drunk!" He paused and looked around, "That ninja chick around?"

"Sheno? I don't think so… Why?"

Jareth grinned in an evil sort of way. "Because, my friend, Im gunna introduce you to a good friend of mine!" He put his arm around his shoulder and led him into town.

"Really? Who's your friend?"

"Jack. Jack Daniels…"

5 minutes later they found themselves at the local bar.

"Yo, bar keep! Two cold ones over here!" yelled Jareth excitedly.

Roy looked around nervously, "Hey, Jareth… I don't think-"

"Stop that! No thinking! Its about time you had some fun!" He leaned back in his chair as the waitress brought them their drinks.

"But Jareth, I always thought you had to be a certain age before you could drink…"

"Nonsense! Besides, you're what? 5 hundred and something? I think ya pass the test."

"But Jareth-"

"No buts! Now drink!"

"Hm... All right…" He picked it up nervously and took a sip-And nearly spit it out. "Gah! What is this?-! Poison?-! Bleh!"

Jareth just laughed, "Hahaha! Ride it out! You'll get used to it!"

"I don't think I want to…yuck…" He watched as Jareth took a big swig of his drink and put it down.

"Alright, take another sip."

"No! Its disgusting!" whined Roy.

"Its only disgusting the first time. Now take a sip!"

"No Jareth! What are you-" He got irrupted as Jareth poured the whole glass down his throat.

Roy came up, gasping for air, "What the _hell_ was _that_ for?-!"

"You weren't doing anything so I decided to help."

"When I need your help, I'll ask for it!"

There was a pause as they both sat down again.

"So? How is it now?" asked Jareth.

He thought for a minute. "Not…bad actually…" he admitted.

Jareth grinned. "Waitress, keep 'em coming!"

She nodded and walked off.

"Jareth, where are you getting the cash for this?"

"The Cordite Royal Treasury of course!"

He groaned but quickly forgot about it as two new glasses were put on the table.

Jareth picked his up and Roy copied.

"Cheers!" he said, clanking them together.

"Cheers!" replied Roy.

Soon their table was littered with empty glasses. They'd been in there for nearly 3 hours…

"Yeah! Then I was all 'Suck pokeball, you fartknocking kappa!' Hahahahaha!" Jareth laughed merrily as he took another swig.

Roy joined in saying, "Whaz a pokeball?"

"I don't know! Hahahaha!"

They both laughed at the question. Jareth grabbed a new glass as Roy downed his in a single shot.

"Hey, you're pretty good there! How many'd of those have you had?"

Roy grinned goofily, " Fifty-seven!" He paused. "-ish"

"Man, you are _soo_ wasted! Hahaha…ah…" He slumped in his chair as the alcohol started to take effect. Regrettably, he emptied the glass in his hand and looked at Roy. "Hey, we should get going…"

"Why?"

"One- You're full out drunk. Two-"

"Aww… But I don't wanna go, Jar-Jar!"

He paused as his drunken brain tried to process what he just said. "Did you just call me 'Jar-Jar'?"

"Of course I did! Thaz your name, Jar-Jar!" declared Roy, pointing at him.

He rubbed his head in annoyance. _I am too drunk for this… _"Come on, Roy, lets go!" He grabbed his arm.

"No! Juz one more!"

"I think you've had enough!"

"But Jar-Jar!"

"And for the love of God, my name is-"

"Jareth Blake!"

He turned around and spotted what could only be bounty hunters.

_Great… My day just gets better and better. _He sighed, "Listen guys… I got a lot to handle at the moment so if you wouldn't mind coming back later? I'll wipe the floor with ya then."

"Why you little-"

Roy poked out from behind Jareth and spotted the bounty hunters. "Hey Jar-Jar…who're they?"

He sighed once again, trying to fight his rising head ache. "They're the bad guys, Roy."

"Oohh… Hi Mr. Bad Guy! Wanna drink?" he waved.

Jareth fell over, banging his head on the table in the process. "Roy! You don't have a drink with bad guys!"

"Oh… Coke then?"

"NO!"

By this time the bounty hunters had them surrounded. "Alright boys, lets take care of 'em!"

Soon a full out brawl had erupted in the bar.

Jareth, too drunk to fight properly yelled, "Roy, take care of 'em, will ya?"

"You got it, Jar-Jar!" He turned to the bounty hunters, "Prepare to suck pokeball, you fartknocking kappas!" He cupped his hands and started chanting…

Suddenly Jareth recognized what he was doing. "No! Roy don't!"

Too late…

"Ye who hold powers over light and darkness, I ask this of thee...Grant me thy power to vanquish the evil beings that stand before us...Goddess of All, I entreat ye... Astral Ray!"

Two white wings sprouted from his back as he unleashed a bright blast of energy that spread out around him in a mushroom cloud like manner.

BOOM!

Jareth opened his eyes tentatively as the explosion ended.

"Oh my god…" he breathed.

The entire town had been leveled. Nothing remained of the bar or the harbor for that matter… He searched around and spotted Roy, who was at the center of the explosion.

"Now I know why his price is so high…" He laughed nervously as he approached him. "Hey, Roy, uh, you ok?"

He swayed a little and held his head. "Ugh… I feel sick…" With that he passed out and fell to the ground.

"Jeez… Remind me _never_ to get him drunk _again_…"

That morning Roy woke up with a major hang-over while Jareth was being scolded by Sheno…

The End

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**Yay! Drunk Roy! Heh**

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed it!**

**Welp…**

**See ya!**


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